Joy & Sadness

I am writing today with excitement and a very heavy heart!

Yesterday we got a call from Toni (caseworker @ AGCI). She said that we were getting on a plane & going to Ethiopia to see our girls. Our court date is scheduled for April 25th. I was shocked. We will be on our way to see our sweet daughters in about 3 weeks. I would get to hug them, play with them, & tell them I loved them for the very first time. The day was crazy with phone calls and making plans.

Today I was surprised when Toni called me again. This was not one filled with joy but of much sorrow. Many of you know that I have been praying specifically for their birth mother during this time even before we had a referral. The love that she must have to want her girls to have a life where they feel loved and secure. Well we found out that our girl's birthmother passed away. A sadness filled the very pit of my stomach. The girls have not been told yet because our agency wants to be sensitive to the timing & make sure it is done with as much love & compassion as possible. I know God led us down this path for a specific reason. I know those girl's are mine just like I birthed them from my own body. I know that may be hard to understand for some but when I say they were "born in my heart" it is true. I want to protect them & take away the pain but I know that God is the true comforter. He has a plan for their lives even in the midst of this pain. I experienced this first hand over 2 years ago when my father passed. No words, love, or time can heal only the power of my heavenly father. I feel God took me on the journey of losing my earthly father, who I love with all my heart, to bring me to a place where I can love like I have never loved before. For my husband, children, mother, & most of all my heavenly father. I think back to the Garth Brooks song about missing the pain means missing the dance. I can say today that all of the pain is well worth where I am today but it has only been possible with my heavenly father. I want that for all of my girls. A relationship with their heavenly father that is unlike anything on this earth. We are only here for a season. This is not our home. If we are a believer we can look to being in heaven for eternity. Where there is no sadness, pain, or loss.

Please consider praying specifically for our girls in Ethiopia: 1. That the Lord would begin preparing their hearts for hearing about the loss of ther birth mother. 2. That the Lord would give the special mothers at Hannahs Hope (the orphanage) the strength as they share this news with our girls. 3. That the girls would feel the Lord's comfort. 4. That Luther and I will have the right words when writing our letters that will be read to them. 5. That as we prepare to meet each other this may begin a time of healing for the girls & they will one day understand that they were given up because they were loved.